This past Sunday, I found out I will be a grandmother for the first time, an answered prayer. I am full of joy and dread, I feel I have been sentenced to limbo. "What if?" is lurking around all the time, this is my new normal. My reality, 30 percent of all breast cancers no matter what stage it was at original diagnosis comes back as terminal. My mind lived in this worse case scenario all through chemotherapy. After my bilateral mastectomy, it went away a little and I thought